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The Curse of Andrew

Okay I jus read the stupidist fuckin chainmail ever, something about a flute girl who will curse me for all of eternity unless I fwd this like every other dumbass on the web. Guess what? after giving the flute girl the finger, I deleted it. It had all these stories about what happened to ppl who had decided to delete the chainmail from their point of view. How exactly does one add their own story of what happened as a result of deleting junk mail, after they have deleted it? hmm? eat that u fuck face. FWDS are a waste of space. No, I don't care if some ghost will ass fuck me in my sleep if I don't fwd this. Why? becuz its a ghost, other than the fact that ghosts aren't real, ghost's couldn't physically touch me anyways. How bout zombies? well other than the fact that dead ppl are dead and don't rape ppl, it could be pretty scary. Dragons? don't exist. Evil unicorns? fuck that shit. Curses especially. Well maybe not since because you have read this, you now have been cursed by me, THE EVIL FWD CURSE OF ANDREW. What's that do? well if you EVER SEND ME A FWD. you will suffer death, after gettin ur balls ripped off. thats right, nto cut off, not chopped off, ripped off. if you don't have balls there are other things I can rip off that'll hurt jus as much. but why rip them off myself when I can have some lame ass pic of some deformed bs do it for me rite? so now that u've been cursed, here is how to lift it.
 
show this website to
 
0 ppl, I kill you, becuz u are a fuckhead
1-4 ppl, I won't rip off your body parts, but I'll have my ghost ppl rape u instead
5-20000 ppl, you're an ass cuz ur still readin this,
fwds like this are bs, if you haven't realized that yet, then u need to reformat your computer so noone can send u evil fwds that will kill you if u dont fwd them.
 
Oh and guess what? those fwds about sending 2 cents to some dyin kid with a disease so gross it has a name u can't pronounce? ya the only reason they track those emails is so they can look at shit on ur computer, they don't give a fuck about some dyin kid, or they would have just given them the money to have the operation. Think before u send me shit.
 
Neways the point of this was to give you all a shred of how much I hate fwds. I don't care what the fwd is, if you have a special msg u included in the fwd, it got deleted, there is nothing u couldnt tell me that has some importance, that you couldn't make a new email an send me it. O an if u think ur smart an can get around my filter by taking out the FWD part, I will block you. Have a nice day.
 
UPDATE
Wow people dont seem to get it.... my my my, because having my msn name 3 times saying DONT SEND ME FWDS people seem to think they're special or somethin, because IM STILL GETTING THEM
I just got one about the dead girl with no eyes or ears, that will appear next to me and kill me with a knife if I didn't fwd her chainmail within 5minutes of reading it. Fuck that, so I decided to make up my own chainmail
 
"My name is ANDREW EWER and I am 16 years old. I have dirty blonde hair, blue eyes, normal ears, and I am alive. However you won't be if you keepy sending me fwds... O and I have a wicked knife, so at least you'll be amused at the shinyness before I stab you, and if you fwd this, god help you"
 
I have gotten a billion fwds that should have: killed, stabbed, removed body parts, raped, sodomized, dislocated, scratched out, yank, pull, grab, squeeze, or anything else you can think of, to my body. Guess what fuckers? I'm still here, ranting about you. Fuck off, 3 ppl have already been blocked cuz they don't seem to beable to understand my hatred for fwds, don't be next.

I also just rumaged through all the emails I've kept over the years, and I found this amazing one, its like a year an a half old, but it still makes me laugh, I agree with this dude.
 

Alfonson Merkin has had enough

Hello, my name is Alfonso Merkin. I am suffering from rare and deadly diseases, poor scores on final exams, lack of sexual activity, fear of being kidnapped and executed by anal electrocution, and guilt for not sending out 50 billion fucking forwards sent to me by people who actually believe that if you send them, that poor 6 year old girl in Arkansas with lung cancer brought on by second-hand smoke from the cigarettes smoked by the big bad men who kidnapped her and took pornographic pictures of her for use on their child pornography web site will get 6 fucking cents every time you send the letter.

Do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give you and everyone you send "his" email to $1000? How fucking stupid are you? Ooooh, looky here! If I scroll down this page and make a wish, I'll get laid by every Victoria's Secret model in the catalog! What a bunch of bullshit. So basically, this message is a big FUCK YOU to all the people out there who have nothing better to do than to send me stupid forwards. Maybe the evil chainletter leprechauns will come into my dorm room and sodomize me in my sleep for not continuing the chain which was started by Jesus in 5 A.D. and was brought to this country by midget pilgrims on the Mayflower and if it makes it to the year 2000, it'll be in the Guinness Book of World Records for longest continuous streak of blatant stupidity. Fuck them.

If you're going to forward something, at least send something mildly amusing. No more fucking snowball fights, parachuting cows or fucking drunken frog fights! I've seen all the "send this to 50 of your closest friends, and this poor, wretched excuse for a human being will somehow receive a nickel from some omniscient being" forwards about 90 times.


-- Al Merkin

 

I hope you all got the FUCK YOU part outa that, cuz if you send fwds, FUCK YOU ASSHAT

You found a secret !!!