How many students does it take to screw in a Light Bulb?

At Lucas it takes two. One to change the bulb and one more to brag about how good they are.

At Saunders it takes two thousand. One to change the bulb, and the other one thousand nine hundred ninety-nine to riot and set the school on fire.

At Thames it takes ten. One to change the bulb and the other nine to sit around and watch because it is the big entertainment of the evening.

At South it takes zero. They are all too drunk from the night before to care whether or not the lights are on.

At Laurier it takes four. One to change the bulb, one to steal the new bulb from the store, one as a look out, and one to drive the getaway car.


At Clarke Road it takes nine. One to screw it in and the other eight just screw each other in celebration.

At Beal it takes zero. Who wants to be in that area after dark anyway?

At Medway it takes twelve. Two to figure out how to screw it in and ten other drunks to find an ugly enough lamp shade to match their school colors.

At Lord Dorchester it takes zero. There is no electricity at Lord Dorchester, only cows and corn.

At R.M.C. it takes five. Four to strap on snow shoes and hike 10 miles to the nearest store to get the new bulb and one to screw it in.

At East Elgin it takes twenty. One to change the bulb and the other nineteen to find a new way to engineer it so it never has to be changed again.

At Oakridge it takes zero. They have Mommy and Daddy pay someone to do it for them.

At Ross it takes five. One to bring the weed and four to smoke it while they all imagine they screwed it in.

At Parkside it takes zero. They can't afford light bulbs, just like they cannot afford a football team.

At Montcalm it takes zero. They are too busy shoving the lightbulb up the nearest hole in their body. (sluts)